Email Tag lines

Have you tried turning it off and on – The IT Crowd

Its not that I mind your dishonesty so much, its that you think I’m stupid – It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown

No act of kindness is ever wasted.

Micro$oft.  (I’ll shoot myself tomorrow, I promise.)

“I read recipes the way I read science fiction:  I get to the end and say,’Well, that’s not going to happen.'”  – Comedian Rita Rudner, performance in New York, New York, January 10, 2005.

Western Civilization, a nice idea – Gandhi

Some guy hit my fender the other day, and I said unto him “Be fruitful and multiply”. But not in those words . -Woody Allen

Whenever I have to decide between two evils, I always choose the one I haven’t tried before. -Mae West

Lead me not into temptation… I can find it myself!

I hope to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am.   :)>

Don’t worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you’ll have to ram them down people’s throats. -Howard Aiken

So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence. -Bertrand Russell

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic

I can’t wait for tomorrow because I get better looking every day – Joe Namath

Live hard, die young, leave a beautiful corpse.

Don’t piss down my leg and tell me it’s raining -Judge Judy

No matter how cynical you get, it is impossible to keep up. -Lily Tomlin

Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. -Mark Twain

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.  -Mark Twain

You live and learn. At any rate, you live. -Douglas Adams

Technology is dominated by those who manage what they do not understand.

I wrote my first program in 15 minutes. It took me 3 hours to keypunch it.
I wrote my first BASH script in 5 minutes. It took me a day to find out I had to put a . (period) in front of it to get it to execute.

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

I am just a poor boy though my story’s seldom told
I have squandered my resistance for a pocketfull of mumbles
Such are promises. All lies in jest
’till a man hears what he wants to and disregards the rest -Paul Simon

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. -Mitch Ratliffe, Technology Review.

“Words,” wrote John Maynard Keynes, “ought to be a little wild, for they are the assault of thoughts on the unthinking.”

The way of the world is to praise dead saints and prosecute live ones. – Nathaniel Howe

If I were a grave-digger or even a hangman, there are some people I could work for with a great deal of enjoyment. – Douglas Jerrold

The tree of research must from time to time be refreshed with the blood of bean counters. – Alan Kay

Money can’t buy love, but it improves your bargaining position. — Christopher Marlowe

Why did the Roman Empire collapse? What is the Latin for office automation?

I want this email address:   A_Man_of_Wealth_and_Taste@theInternet.Google.com

So if you meet me
Have some courtesy
Have some sympathy, and some taste
Use all your well-learned politesse
Or I’ll lay your soul to waste, um yeah
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

http://garyjohnsoninfo.info/musings/wit.html