Email Tag lines

Have you tried turning it off and on – The IT Crowd

Its not that I mind your dishonesty so much, its that you think I’m stupid – It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown

No act of kindness is ever wasted.

Micro$oft.  (I’ll shoot myself tomorrow, I promise.)

“I read recipes the way I read science fiction:  I get to the end and say,’Well, that’s not going to happen.'”  – Comedian Rita Rudner, performance in New York, New York, January 10, 2005.

Western Civilization, a nice idea – Gandhi

Some guy hit my fender the other day, and I said unto him “Be fruitful and multiply”. But not in those words . -Woody Allen

Whenever I have to decide between two evils, I always choose the one I haven’t tried before. -Mae West

Lead me not into temptation… I can find it myself!

I hope to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am.   :)>

Don’t worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you’ll have to ram them down people’s throats. -Howard Aiken

So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence. -Bertrand Russell

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic

I can’t wait for tomorrow because I get better looking every day – Joe Namath

Live hard, die young, leave a beautiful corpse.

Don’t piss down my leg and tell me it’s raining -Judge Judy

No matter how cynical you get, it is impossible to keep up. -Lily Tomlin

Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. -Mark Twain

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.  -Mark Twain

You live and learn. At any rate, you live. -Douglas Adams

Technology is dominated by those who manage what they do not understand.

I wrote my first program in 15 minutes. It took me 3 hours to keypunch it.
I wrote my first BASH script in 5 minutes. It took me a day to find out I had to put a . (period) in front of it to get it to execute.

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

I am just a poor boy though my story’s seldom told
I have squandered my resistance for a pocketfull of mumbles
Such are promises. All lies in jest
’till a man hears what he wants to and disregards the rest -Paul Simon

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. -Mitch Ratliffe, Technology Review.

“Words,” wrote John Maynard Keynes, “ought to be a little wild, for they are the assault of thoughts on the unthinking.”

The way of the world is to praise dead saints and prosecute live ones. – Nathaniel Howe

If I were a grave-digger or even a hangman, there are some people I could work for with a great deal of enjoyment. – Douglas Jerrold

The tree of research must from time to time be refreshed with the blood of bean counters. – Alan Kay

Money can’t buy love, but it improves your bargaining position. — Christopher Marlowe

Why did the Roman Empire collapse? What is the Latin for office automation?

I want this email address:   A_Man_of_Wealth_and_Taste@theInternet.Google.com

So if you meet me
Have some courtesy
Have some sympathy, and some taste
Use all your well-learned politesse
Or I’ll lay your soul to waste, um yeah
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name

http://garyjohnsoninfo.info/musings/wit.html

Advertisements