Purple Squirrel Resume

Have you ever seen a job description that is essentially:

Can you move heaven and earth?  Can you implement world peace in one week?  Are you an expert in every known and unknown technology?

A few Headhunters I have known have called what their clients are looking for, a purple squirrel.  Have you ever seen a purple squirrel?

Here is a laundry list of my experience and skills, or as I like to call it, my purple squirrel resume

BS B.S. Business Administration  U.S. Citizen  College Graduate  Hands On    Software Engineering and Analysis  Systems Design  Application Programming  Application Integration  Software Architecture  Systems Analysis  Requirement Analysis  UML/OOD/OOA UML OOD OOA Object Oriented Analysis and Design  System Development Lifecycle SDLC  RAD Rapid Application Development  JAD Joint Application Development  Multi Platform    Project Management   Project Leader  Training, Development and Education  Guidance  Mentoring  Supervised    Testing, Unit Testing, Smoke Testing, UI experience Testing, Database and Program Performance Testing Cross Platform, Language and code page testing

SOAP (Simple Object Access Protocol)  JSON XML XSL  SSL Secure Sockets Layer  UDDI (Universal Description, Discovery, and Integration)  EAI (enterprise application integration)  WSDL Web Services Descriptive Language  NEBS Network Equipment Building Standard      MQ*  PERL  SMTP  POP  IMAP  Server Side Scripting  CURL  CGI  ISAPI CDN content delivery network DCOM  OCX  Web  Web Application Server  HTML  DHTML  HTML5 CSS  JavaScript  jQuery AJAX REST UI  WordPress CodeIgniter Google Maps Google APIs Google Webmaster Tools Google Analytics Structured Data Markup Version Control Apache PHPMyAdmin Bitnami Modernizer Regular Expressions Amazon Flexible Payments

Dropbox Javascript API, Self Signed Certificates Certificate Import and Export Domain registration subdomains addon domains CPANEL Linux Ubuntu GNU UNIX

Web Hosting  Web Browsers  Netscape  Internet Explorer, Safari, Chrome HTTP  Agents    Client Side Scripting  PHP Databases  MySQL  SQL  ODBC API  OLE DB  ADO  DAO  MYSQL SQL Server  Model 204  Focus  RAMIS  dBase  Rbase  Access  Schema  Stored Procedures  IMS  Datacom DB  Informix  FoxPro DBA  PL/SQL SQL  Object Oriented Data Modeling    Use Cases  Interaction Diagrams  Packages and Collaborations  State Diagrams  Activity Diagrams  Physical Diagrams  Class Diagrams       

Installs  Configuration  Policies  Procedures    Software Quality Insurance  Automated Testing Tools  Test software    Documentation  Manuals  Help Systems  Online Help

Vendors  Microsoft  Novell  Banyan  IBM    LANS  Netware  Microsoft File and Print Sharing  Domains  Servers  TCP / IP IPX/SPX Protocols  Daemons  Services  Vines  StreetTalk Active Directory  Intelligent Messaging  NGM  MHS  VNS APIs   Novell NLM  MOM Message Oriented Middleware SMF software development kits  Token Ring  Ethernet  Arcnet  SNMP    Operating Systems  Windows 7 Windows Vista Windows 2000  Windows NT  Windows 98  Windows 95  Windows 3.x  MSDOS    Programming Products  Microsoft Visual C/C++ Visual Studio VC++  Borland C++  AT&T K&R UNIX C  Watcom C  VB Microsoft Visual Basic  MSDN Microsoft Developer Network  PVCS Change Management and Configuration  ClearCase   InstallShield  InstallShield Express    Rational Rose UML Unified Modeling Language  ObjectSpace  STL Standard Template Library  ATL  Bounds Checker    Generic Names for Programming Tools and or System Analysis Activities  Application Programming Interfaces API  Software Systems  Capacity Planning & Performance Monitoring  Data Dictionaries  Report Writers  Strategic Database Design  Software Engineer  Component   ADP Automatic Data Processing  Functional  Operational  Interface  Factory  Install Programs    Programming and Analysis Related  Application Integration  Applications   32 bit  Multi-threaded  WIN 32 API  WIN 32 SDK  DLLs   TCP/IP at the socket level   Porting   COM  ANSI EDI  MFC Microsoft Foundation Classes  Objects  Models  Frameworks  RPC Remote Procedure Call    Programming Languages  C  C++  Basic  Pascal  Fortran  PL/1  Cobol  Assembler    Types of Applications  Database applications  Sample Applications  Middleware  Front Ends  Back Ends  Gateways  Office Automation  Tools & API development  Novell NLM communication gateway  Commercial Shrink Wrapped Software  Email Enabled  Store and Forward    Security  Biometric  GINA    Office Tools  Word Processors  Spreadsheets  Lotus  Microsoft Office  Word  Excel  Access  PowerPoint  Outlook  Outlook Express  Publisher  Email  PaintShop Pro  Scanners  Modems  Photo Editor  Code Wright SynEdit, Brief Ultraedit Notepadd++  Text Editors  Movie Editing Software  WINZIP  Printers  Cameras  Ami Pro  WordPerfect  Corel  Norton Utilities      Enterprise  IBM Mainframe  IBM MVS  IBM VM/CMS  JCL  VSAM  SAA API  APPC   WAN  LAN/WAN  EAI enterprise application integration  NJE Network Job Entry  RJE Remote Job Entry  BDT Bulk Data Transfer  Network Data Mover  MVS internals  Security Software RACF TOP SECRET  VTAM  CICS  TSO  SYNCHSORT  ISPF  IDCAMS  IEBGENR  JCL  ROSCOE  EXEC2  REXX  Easytrieve  SAS  Auditpak  Linkware and other file transfer software and techniques  terminal emulation  3270 HLAPPI  3270 terminal emulation  Novell 3270 gateways  Procomm  CrossTalk  VMBACKUP  VMTAPE  VMSECURE  VMSCHEDULE    Administration  Privileges     VAX/VMS  GEIS  TYMNET  SBC        Open Source  Proprietary    Change Management and Configuration      Computer Associates     information security  VPN Virtual Private Network  FireWall  Biometric DD Form 254 preparation  Program Security Guides  DSS Guidelines  Inspection Processes  Administration, Authorization and Authentication (3A) security software    client-server technology  GUI development    Microsoft DNA technologies MTS  COM+  MSMQ  Active Directory  Obect Management Group CORBA   VPN Virtual Private Networks    ATM  Frame Relay    Dense Wave Digital Multiplexing  Orthongonal Frequency Division Multiplexing    CISSPs certified information security professionals 

Design Pattern Catalog

Creational Patterns

Abstract Factory  Builder  Factory Method Prototype Singleton

Structural Pattern

Adapter Bridge Composite Decorator Facade Flyweight Proxy

Behavioral Patterns

Chain of Responsibility Command Interpreter Iterator Mediator Memento Observer State Strategy Template Method Visitor

Architectural Patterns

An architectural pattern expresses a fundamental structural organization or schema for software systems. It provides a set of predefined subsystems, specifies their responsibilities, and includes rules and guidelines for organizing the relationships between them.

Idioms

An idiom is a low-level pattern specific to a programming language. An idiom describes how to implement particular aspects of components or the relationships between them using the features of the given language    

I read a book on Java and have done a few tiny sample programs.

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